(no subject)

[debatemebro]

WHO: this new fucking weed and you

WHERE: the pasture

WHEN: Day 34 HIGH NOON

[ a young man in a black collar and a tattered outfit that looks like something out of a wuxia themed anime is standing in the middle of town and waving people down. he's unarmed, has tattoos of a silver metal that glows like moonlight across his arms and shoulders, and seems friendly! except, uh ]

Hello! Good afternoon! I've come here to prewarn you all that I intend on utterly destroying this community, down to the last child and the last stone of the last standing building, and leaving it a smoking husk incapable of sustaining any civilization, to protect you all from the inevitable march of progress into tyranny.

Only striking me down utterly and without mercy can save you all from this fate.

As a show of good sport, I will invite attempts on my life starting now.

[ for those of you who can sense power levels uhhhhh his power level is high though. ]

Comments

[soulsurvivore]

Oh, this should be good.

[ Faith's just gonna settle in nearby with a glass of wine. ]

[debatemebro]

I don't do what I do as a spectator sport, although I suppose I cannot prevent you from treating it as such. I am told the process is somewhat upsetting to behold, if that colors your future choices.

[arrowace]

[ OH BOY OH BOY ]

Ah . . . OK.

[debatemebro]

As a greeting gift, I will not be immediately retaliating against every individual's first attempt at separating my soul from the vessel it inhabits, although of course attempts beyond the first one I shall answer with equally lethal force.

[secondbornsun]

[ what the fuck ]

. . . How d'ya intend t'do that.

[debatemebro]

Well, I intend to transform into a towering beast, larger than a castle, and devour every living creature, then devour every building as well.

I have a very strong stomach, you see, although by preference I am a vegetarian, so deviating from my standard diet does not have negative effects on my constitution.

[finalefantasy]

[there's a single collared bird roosting in a tree or something and just watching this happen. it isn't going to engage but just. man. popcorn dot gif.]

[debatemebro]

[ he is not very successful at drawing aggro :( ]

[finalbows]

_{[ is this what it's like to meet another "chuuni"....? ]}

Local tyrant here. Too late. However, I am accepting complaints. Let's chat.

[debatemebro]

Oh? Are you a tyrant? A king in a collar?

[hexesandohs]

[oh hello, it seems the tattered witch weed from the awful betrayal ritual is out and about?? instead of just hiding in the woods?? she is sitting on a larger branch like it's a witch's broom, hovering far into the air with her legs dangling over the edge, kicking out her feet as she]

[just]

[cackles madly]

Burn! Burn it allll!! Reduce it to ash!! Let them know the depths of your bloodlust!!!

[debatemebro]

Once again, I feel the need to emphasize that my destruction is not a spectator sport.

[survivaltricks]

[. . .]

[EXHAUSTED]

Okay.

[debatemebro]

[ does everyone in this community just crave the sweet embrace of the void. should i speed up my timeline ]

[desudesudesudesu]

[ now that she's up and about she's just kind of staring. ] It doesn't seem like people are taking the threat seriously. [ she's also in tattered clothes and a black collar... and she's like two and a half feet tall. ]

[debatemebro]

The only surprising part is that nobody has called for my execution yet.

[rugpull]

[sips orange juice]

'll just watch until s'my problem thanks.

[debatemebro]

You and the rest of the community, it would seem!

[pictureimperfect]

Why though?

[debatemebro]

Because the advance of civilization is poison to compassion, and death is the only way to stop it.

[chasseurdebeaute]

You intend to kill indiscriminately yourself, for no purpose beyond your own cryptic mission?

[debatemebro]

I feel as though framing it as 'for no purpose beyond your stated purpose' is a little unfair.

[catposting]

[ huh. ]

What do you intend to do in the meantime?

[debatemebro]

Between this announcement and the day I take action, I will wait.

[heavyliesthecrown]

This is, perhaps, the politest threat to my life that I have ever received. What a gentlemanly challenge. It is such a breath of fresh air.

[debatemebro]

I have nothing to gain by being needlessly rude about my threats to your lives.

[axingnicely]

If I may ask, why are you so set on devouring everything, including the architecture?

[debatemebro]

Because that is the way of things.

[spinebuddyandme]

[ Pauses mid-stride to stare for a second. ]

... Are you serious?

[debatemebro]

Yes.

Although I have discovered that this place limits me slightly, and I will no longer be able to fit an entire barn in my mouth.

[strateelgic]

I'm afraid that's not acceptable and you'll have to return with a more reasonable threat.

[debatemebro]

Unfortunately, this is standard.

[stirtheblood]

[Edgelord is sitting on the fountain eating. popcorn.gif but with handfuls of salad]

Wow, that's way more warning than I've ever given before reducin' a town to a smokin' husk.

[debatemebro]

It's traditional for me, but it seems to have invited a typical level of mockery and dismissal...

[electricflock]

[raises his hand]

Um… I’m not from here. Is it okay if I die at home instead?Would like to see my family again and um, not have my soul imprisoned here.

[debatemebro]

I suppose you shall have to escape before I begin, but as it will be a year and a day, perhaps that is not so difficult.

[wants_the_phd]

[Before he gets incinerated]

For those of us who are already at the end of our lifespans, would you consider allowing us to die naturally instead of brutally slaughtering us?

[debatemebro]

Perhaps you could naturally die between my warning and the arrival of my foretold doom.

[debug_mode]

Neat! Your room's at the weed clubhouse.