sheep_game | Myngle

That's fine, let it all out.

[ sinks down to sit with his back to the edge of the fountain and presses the heels of his palms to his eyes for a moment, eventually sliding his fingers up through his hair with a groan ]

That sucked.

But on the plus side, nobody will fault you for not taking any more for a while.

Well done on your extremely efficient use of coins.

[ snorts, amused in spite of himself ]

Glad someone gets it.

Yes. That was one way of ensuring you wouldn't get cold feet for more midway.

So? What's your takeaway from your newly-remembered life? More storied than even you expected?

So much more storied. I've fought God's personal hitmen more times than I'd like, and they haven't even been the biggest problems.

[why the fuck would God put a hit out on ananke? he's like twelve]

What were the biggest problems?

The Reach—Scarab's creators. ... And politicians.

Oh, yeah, that's true -- politicians are the worst no matter where you go.

That said... are you still planning on going back?

[ Gives her a startled look ]

Of course? My family's there.

[heh]

Yeah.

You do seem like the type to go back no matter what.

Are you gonna go somewhere other than your home world?

I don't know.

Maybe I'm still deciding.

Mm... It's a big decision to make. You shouldn't rush it if you're not sure.

I think my problem's the opposite. I want to go back, but I think if I don't go soon, I may not be able to at all.

...Long story. Don't worry about it too much.

What? You can't say something like that and expect me not to worry about it. What are you afraid would stop you?

[ mmmMMMPH. >:T ]

[she's quiet for a few beats, trying to think of the most succinct way to explain this.]

I am... being dramatic about it, and feeling sorry for myself, so keep that in mind.

But... there are things I want to do at home that require me being able to bring certain personal qualities to the table. Each day I'm here, I lose a little bit of what I need, and go one step in the other direction.

I'm afraid that, after a certain point, this place will have changed me so much that not only will I not be able to accomplish my goals, but I won't even be able to continue living as I was. And if that's the case, instead of going home, I'd be better off dying here, instead.

Mm... I don't think it's dramatic to be scared about this stuff. I worry about it too. Probably for different reasons, but... [ shrug ] The stuff that happens here changes everyone.

But...what direction are you going in? Is it just from having to live among so many humans, or something else?

...

[she stares at him for a while, seriously considering how comfortable she feels talking about this.]

I am... very old, Ananke. Every day my body wears a little thinner. And there's a thing inside of me that, once it dies, cannot be revived.

So, when I die here, I will be dead at home, too.

...What... But we get revived here all the time. What—I mean... Why are you sure it won't work the same for you?

There is a little bit of technology in me that serves to verify my identity at home. It's tied to everything I need to live as a member of society. My career. The place I live. My food. My clothes. My ability to travel or access services.

They're tamper-proof to prevent identity theft. If they get damaged or stop detecting signs of life, they self-destruct completely. They can't be repaired, afterward. The information can't be recovered.

Edited 2024-05-05 22:38 (UTC)

Oye, that sounds as serious as it gets... Are you sure it's tamper-proof though? Peony has a lot of tech geniuses who might be able to do something to help.

If it happens, naturally, I'll ask them for help. But it was designed by tech geniuses to be impervious to other tech geniuses, so I'm not going to count on it.

I wouldn't expect you to anyway. ...What happens to someone if they don't have one of those things in your world?

Incarceration until they're able to verify their ID. But it's a slow process, and I don't have that much time left. So if I'm going to die in prison anyway, I might as well stay in this one. The company's better.

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