you saw nothing

[inaptronym]

WHO: people ready to BAATTLE
WHERE: the BAATTLEFIELD (pasture)
WHEN: Day 76

[uh oh, why does that doofy Weed in the magenta suit have a knife, why is he cutting his hand, oh no—

Suddenly you find yourselves standing in a large stadium - "large", big enough for everyone to stand inside of it comfortably, anyway. Fireworks burst from the very top and the sounds of a crowd cheering surround you - and in fact, it looks like the cheering is coming from all the cardboard sheep lining the stands! They're cute and excited!

In the middle of it all is a square ring - that really just looks like this - and stood in the center is an excited little thistle sheep, dressed in a black suit and holding a microphone that seems to be hanging from nowhere]

My fine flocks, it is my honor to welcome you to the pasture's very first BAATTLE SHEEP BAABES TOURNAMENT!

Comments

MINGLE

[inaptronym]

Re: MINGLE

[wants_the_phd]

Is there a rule that you've gotta cut your palm when shedding blood?

Surely there are other places to cut yourself with fewer nerve endings.

Re: MINGLE

[abandon_hope]

Did he say "tournament?" Like a fight tournament?

[ enrichment for demigods?? ]

Re: MINGLE

[stabtivism]

...Baabes...

Re: MINGLE

[rugpull]

Am I the babe is it me?

Re: MINGLE

[hardpity]

But I'm so weak and fragile

Re: MINGLE

[reportinastorm]

[...]

This is... a ritual?

Re: MINGLE

[secondbornsun]

[ there's just a blanket here covering something. some person sized lump. a lion tail sticks out of the blanket. do not step on it if you know what's good for you ]

Re: MINGLE

[poisonista]

[ Massaging the side of his head with his fingers. ]

... I'm not just a babe, I'm a beauty. Get it right.


[ He's actually being facetious but only those who really know him may know he's joking here. ]

Re: MINGLE

[bloominto]

( ... she was IN THE MIDDLE OF SOMETHING. )

Re: MINGLE

[finalbows]

..._{I'm in this pasture to AVOID organized conflict.}

Re: MINGLE

[doggonemad]

— oh not this shit, c'mon!!

Re: MINGLE

[damegane]

[Just staring speechlessly at the shitty cardboard cutouts.]

Re: MINGLE

[aididitmyway]

Good thing I've been training?

[shortforever]

A tournament? Well sure, I'll take an easy win for Thistle.

Re: MINGLE

[spinebuddyandme]

What kinda battle?

Re: MINGLE

[hotnbothered]

No thank you!

BEGIN

[inaptronym]

[a bell coming from nowhere suddenly dings three times, drawing everyone's attention back to the ring. The ring announcer is back in the center, cheerfully waiting for the crowd to die down]

And now it's time . . . for the first possibly annual BAATLE SHEEP BAABES TOURNAMENT!

The rules are as follows: flocks will be battling each other to determine the ULTIMATE BAATTLE SHEEP BAABE. Winning teams will move on to the next round, until only one team is standing in the end!

But have no fear - it isn't over if luck isn't on your side in the first round! A special losers bracket will give you a second chance to prove yourselves!

NOW! [the announcer lifts his hand and slices it downwards - more fireworks go off behind him]

LET THE BAATTLES BEGIN!

RULES

[inaptronym]

IC RULES:

• you're playing rock paper scissors! Each turn, you choose one of those as well as an action. Once both teams choose, the one that wins will successfully hit/guard/user their item.
  
  Actions are:
  ATTACK: what it says on the tin, does 2pts of damage
  DEFEND: you use a turn to protect yourself (if they are hit the next turn, they'll only take 1pt of damage)
  ITEM: use an item!


• at the beginning of each battle, you'll receive two random items to help you out. Use them or don't, they'll disappear at the end of the battle!
  
  The announcer and referee have put on an exhibition example battle over HERE


• if you use an attack/defense item, then that effect will last until your next relevant turn.
  
  So if you use the bowl o' greens and defend your next three turns, then attack on the fourth, you still do +1 pt of damage.
  
  If you use the matcha tea, then you will fully block the next attack that hits.


• health items will work instantly!


• if your team is hit with a status item, then they will lose a turn.


• each team's lifebar is 10 points. Teams will battle until someone's lifebar is empty.


• this is a bracket tournament. Winners will advance to the next round, until only one team remains to become the ULTIMATE BAABE.


• however, losing teams will be given a second chance in the losers bracket. The winner of the losers bracket can challenge the ULTIMATE BAABE for redemption!

Characters DO NOT know:

• the mysterious smoke bomb is one of the available items that will be chosen by the Weeds! Weeds will not know which flock they're choosing for.


• if a Baabe gets hit with a Status item, the team itself will get hit with an effect, too! However, these are completely optional. The list of effects are here, or you can spin the wheel!


• powers are on. :) If your team tries to use their powers to affect the battle, please ping me.

ITEMS

[inaptronym]

BARLEY TEA: Just what the pasture doctor ordered! (regain 2 health)
BOWL 'O GREENS: Eat these to become big and strong! (+1 attack)
MATCHA TEA: What's a matcha? Nothing much, what's a matcha with you? (blocks full attack)
YELLOW GRASS: Uh oh, that didn't taste right. (random status, other team loses a turn)
MYSTERIOUS SMOKE BOMB: Who the heck let a bunch of sheep play with this? (Weed choice)

EFFECTS

[inaptronym]

CHOOSE ONE or SPIN THE WHEEL

wild side: you have the ears and tail of an animal of your choice! How animal-like they are beyond that is up to you
truth compulsion: you can't lie, if you try to a little sheep will DART IN and bonk you on the head with a squeaky hammer
brrrrr: it's cold and you must cuddle. The longer you try to avoid it, the colder you get
handcuffed: you've been handcuffed to a teammate! They're fuzzy and cute
glitterbomb: don't you just look MARVELOUS
suddenly: musical: the pasture is aliiiive with the sound of your voiiiiice 🎶
stream of thought: what's on your mind, buddy? You're saying it out loud
rhyme time: one word answers are fine, but if you try to get around this, well, that's a crime
mood flowers: you've sprouted flowers out of your head! They'll change color based on your mood
self narration: "This'll be pretty funny." I said, as I typed up these descriptions
get censored: if you say a naughty word, a bar with #&$*^& briefly pops up over your mouth and a "BAA!!" will censor you. sometimes it censors not-naughty words too.
purple haze: hey maaaaan what was in that smoke (drunk/high)
balloon sucker: i talked just. LIKE. THIS!!

ROOMS

[inaptronym]

Lily
Bluebell
Daffodil
Rose
Clover
Thistle
Peony
Weeds

SHIT TALKING/ETC

[crittersheep]

[a space has been requested to yell at each other, go crazy]

Re: SHIT TALKING/ETC

[finalbows]

[ for the first few rounds of clover vs rose angie was cheering with (magical) pompoms and lots of extraneous bouncing ]



[ by round 4 he is no longer doing that ]

ENDGAME

[crittersheep]

ya'll wild

Re: ENDGAME

[doggonemad]

That was fun and not horny in the slightest, so Ryugyo-chan doesn't have to die today.

WINNERS

[inaptronym]

[fireworks explode out of the top of the stadium again! The stadium that is . . . uh, well, it's on fire. And there's a huge pit in the center of the ring, that - if you're stupid enough to jump in it, will just have you falling from the sky over and over until you land either on a sheep or in the ring (it's surprisingly bouncy!). Everyone is otherwise safely transported away from the stadium to watch it burn to the ground! How . . . exciting??

The announcer appears nearby, looking utterly confused and maybe a little delighted but no, you're imagining that]

I told you we should've done no holds barred, these flocks are @#*&$ cra—

A-AHEM. Due to the uhhh antics by some of the flocks, not naming any names ROSE AND CLOVER AND LILY, but the rest of the tournament has been cancelled! Winners have been chosen from the first round, based on who won their baattles!

We will just have to determine the ULTIMATE BAATTLE BAABE another time!

On behalf of the Baabes and myself, I thank you for participating in the first ever BAATLE SHEEP BAABLES tourna - uhhh, series of baattles! Goodnight, folks!

YOUR WINNERS ARE: Peony, Clover, Daffodil, and Lily!

WINNERS: you get a trophy denoting their place PARTICIPATION, an outfit in their flock's style (that's spandex/tear away/whatever makes it easier to do BAATTLE in), and a bracelet that will allow them to summon their BAATTLE BAABE to help them in a future fight*.

* Baabes will perform their finisher and do a small amount of damage, comedic rules apply!

Bracelets are ONE USE ONLY and will disappear afterwards.

EVERYONE: gets memory coins and a poseable action figure of their Baattle Baabe. Check out that real karate chop action!

LOSERS: spin the wheel (or choose, whatever). Afterwards, you must do ONE BONDING ACTIVITY with someone on your flock to get rid of the effect*! What that activity is will be up to you.

*as always, optional and subject to what is fun!

CLOVER, ROSE, AND LILY: for the utter destruction you caused, you must rebuild the stadium and bond while doing it. Materials will be provided! Pick a time to get together, or else this guy will find you and carry you here to do it*.

* rule of funny, can be handwaved, etc

Re: WINNERS

[wants_the_phd]

[A flower sprouts out the top of her head and immediately dies.]