⛪

[crittersheep]

WHO: you
WHERE: lily
WHEN: later day 51

[remember the temporary confessional booth from Tanabaata? it's reappeared in the generally accessible part of Lily's meadow! the sign on it says:

ANONYMOUS CONFESSIONS
Want some advice, or just to get something off your chest?
Want to do it without the pressure of people knowing who you are?
Come in and have a chat!

(We're trying to see if rites work on the fence.)

if you wanna drop in and talk for a few minutes between mushrooms and other nonsense at any point through the day, you can! Lily is using illusions to disguise themselves and whoever comes in as nondescript little sheep in sunglasses.

as a bonus, when you wander outside afterwards, a little ghost sheep will float up to you with a basket of cookies. feel free to take one!]

((the anon journal is 'herdtestimony'! the password has been posted in Discord for anyone who didn't have it saved from last time. Lilies will also be replying anon with the 'whitecollarcrime' journal.

don't forget to pin your threads since you won't get any notifs otherwise!))

Comments

[whitecollarcrime]

[]

I see.

Do you feel better after relaying the dream, or still mad? Is there anything you would like us to do to help relieve things further?

[herdtestimony]

[Only four options?]

I should like... for things to be as they once were. That is beyond the realms of your capabilities and mine, I suspect.

Your time has been appreciated, nonetheless.

[Almost finished with the 'rune'.]

[whitecollarcrime]

[we're being optimistic and ruling out gods and demons because at that point there's too many optiogoddammit is this the Forever Snake]

Mm. What is lost often stays lost. Though perhaps, not always as much as one assumes.

I am glad to give you time, if it helps you.

[herdtestimony]

[Again: only those options?

The sheep grimaces. It abruptly stops tracing and raises a hoof to its head. It blinks several times in succession, as if fighting off a migraine. Or the comedown from a high.

Eyes narrowed, it frowns down at the table. Nothing's there- the rune was never visible to the naked eye.]

No... it's wrong. Warped.
...It's to be expected.

I could never hope to recreate such beauty.

[If the Lily has committed the path fully to memory, they'll see a jagged rendition of this.]

[whitecollarcrime]

[let's be real the Lily has been sketching that thing under cover of the divider wall this whole time]

It's quite elegant, even if you weren't able to fully recapture it.

[herdtestimony]

[The sheep inclines its head politely. Looks wistful.]

I was never able to find the real thing. Perhaps... if I had searched with my whole heart... instead... instead of...

[It coughs. Shakes its head.]

I digress. My apologies.

But- if I may. May I request an opinion?

[whitecollarcrime]

Of course you may.

[herdtestimony]

Is it possible to choose one's own fate?

[whitecollarcrime]

Even in worlds where Fate governs, undeniable and recordable, its hold may also be destroyed, or its scales weighted.

So: yes.

[herdtestimony]

[Capital F. The sheep rocks back and forth erratically, a stark contrast to its prior metronomic movements.]

If I may ask... do you seek to destroy its hold on your own? You need not answer... if the question is of too personal a nature.

[whitecollarcrime]

I'm not ashamed to answer.

Yes, I am endeavoring to do so.

[herdtestimony]

Why?

[whitecollarcrime]

Because if someone does not, its hold will turn into a strangling one.

[herdtestimony]

[The sheep regards him. Seconds pass. A minute. It does blink again, once or twice.]

Will it bring you peace, once you succeed?

[whitecollarcrime]

[thoughtfully]

You know, I am not entirely certain I will outlive that success.

If I should be fortunate enough to do so, though, I will be satisfied.

[herdtestimony]

In spite of your grand ambitions... you are content to walk as a mortal. Is that correct?

[whitecollarcrime]

[now it is the Lily sheep who is staring this one down unblinking]

That is correct.

[herdtestimony]

[Unblinking gazes have no effect on this one. The sheep cants its head, curious. Fascinated? It's hard to tell. Stock anonsheep only have so many facial expressions.]

...you have rejected divinity in the past.

[whitecollarcrime]

[quietly]

In the spirit of the rite, I will not lift the veil upon you.

But you are making me terribly curious as to who you are.

[herdtestimony]

[The sheep's hoof shifts to cover its mouth. It shakes once, twice, with silent laughter.]

The symbol represents «those that will break the shackles of the world». To them... it is not a matter of if, but when.

It's... fitting, that a proxy of theirs would show me a path out of that nightmare.

[It sits up and places its hooves neatly on its lap.]

I... truly... do not have the answers you seek. If I did, you would be one of the first to know. You are not one for waste. Of that, I am certain.

Like you- I am but a mortal, with hopes, dreams... fears. Nightmares that serve no purpose but to act as a lunatic's ravings.

Would that your dreams treat you better, Destroyer of Fates.

[whitecollarcrime]

...

[the Lily sheep bows to them, deeply polite to the last]

I appreciate that you had the courage to step inside here with me, despite your nervousness, and share what you have shared. I will not press, if you do not wish me to.

But, sincerely: may your fears turn to hopes, and your nightmares to dreams in your freedom, someday.

cw suicide allusions

[herdtestimony]

[The anonsheep bows in turn. When it raises its head, twin tear streaks can be seen decorating its wooly cheeks. Its voice remains steady, retaining its wistful quality.]

It means... more than you know.

...the «representative» has appeared twice. Out of hundreds of cycles. I... have never won on my own. Most times, I... seek freedom, a different way. I close the door... temporarily... until another opens beneath my feet, restarting the cycle anew.

As we both know... privacy cannot be taken for granted in one's dreams.
And I, for one, have done enough damage to others.

If the nature of this nightmare is news to you... then one can hope. That each cycle ends... before the astral plane's boundaries begin to blur.

[Through its tears, the sheep smiles.]

Re: cw suicide allusions

[whitecollarcrime]

It is, indeed, previously unknown. I hope you will stay, and not drift back into its grip, or close the door once more. Perhaps things will feel less uncertain in a place where thus far time marches forward, and change does not revert on its own.

...

The representative's appearance brought you here this time. May I ask what happened the first time?

Re: cw suicide allusions

[herdtestimony]

[thoughtful]

It was... worse, in the beginning. I felt that I was being watched. Not only by the Wolf King, but also by... a cold, bleak presence that threatened to pick me apart at the seams, little by little.

The remainder of the cycle played out as normal.

Then... as the story was reaching its climax, yet again...
I felt a warm, inexplicable presence.
The representative appeared shortly after.

It was... different, that time.

The 'rune' it left behind was blurred. Too hazy for me to recognize it for what it was. The warmth... was not one from my own lived experiences, nor my intrinsic imagination, I think.

Re: cw suicide allusions

[whitecollarcrime]

A foreign warmth, twice...but it's in this instance you were able to break free...?

[wait a fucking second HEY MYSTERIOUS BRACKET NARRATOR HOW SIMILAR IS THIS RUNE TO THE INNER FEELINGS DEMON'S RUNE. LILY SHEEP WOULD KNOW BUT OOC I HAVE ZERO CLUE WHAT THAT ONE LOOKS LIKE]