Mingly

[wooliefrand]

WHO: Sheep
WHERE:Where ever
WHEN: Evening 60 - Morning 61

[WHAT A DAY HUH? At least by evening the rain starts to let up, and it is noticeably not as cold as it has been. It's a good night for doing whatever, or maybe you're doing dream shit, I'm not your mom.

In the morning, some will notice that along with the storm, there are also no longer patches of snow fluffies, and any snow still on the ground is starting to melt. Additionally, little by little, more wildlife is popping back up in the meadow and forest. With the cold snap gone, it looks like the wildlife scarcity is disappearing, too.

In the cafeteria, there is a small breakfast waiting for those who care for it: coffee or hot cocoa, orange juice, plum tarts, and omelettes made with fish. There is also a banner:

HAPPY ACTUALLY TWO MONTHS IN THE PASTURE SORRY I CAN'T COUNT IGNORE THE OTHER ONE FROM LIKE A COUPLE WEEKS AGO

anyway how yall doing]

Comments

[jerkalope]

Like what? I heard there was another ritual, did everyone get their skin flayed off again?!

[wants_the_phd]

Oh, no, nothing like that. Everything turned out fine.

[Two people died I guess but that's not her problem.]

But my ability to shift was disabled right when I needed it most, which was -- I dunno. Upsetting, feeling helpless and dependent on my flockmates. And it's given me a lot to think about regarding how I comport myself here.

[jerkalope]

Being dependent on each other is part of the whole flock bargain. Eh, what's it called, Stockholm Syndrome? Only in your case it's Sheep-holm Syndrome.

Besides, you aren't totally helpless in human form. You have...thumbs and everything.

[ he's not actually very good at being supportive, but does acknowledge opposable thumbs are nice. ]

[wants_the_phd]

Thumbs were not enough in this situation, my guy. It's only because of my teammates' mercy that I lived. --Which I appreciate and all, don't get me wrong, but it's not a position I care to be in if I can help it.

[jerkalope]

Sometimes being a dragon isn't enough either. Those rituals are designed to make you helpless and torture you over your choices. If the demons just wanted to make you suffer they'd be a lot more proactive about it.

[ points a paw at himself ]

Look at me. As amazing as I am in so many ways, I'm obviously not going to be the top of any food chain. So either I wallow in my position, or accept what I'm able to do work on that.

[wants_the_phd]

Oh, yeah, I mean. It's upsetting and frustrating, but being at the mercy of other people isn't new for me, either. That's not the problem. It's--

[...She cuts herself off and looks away, perhaps thinking better of what she was about to say.]

[jerkalope]

[ sits up on his haunches ]

You know I could cast some truth telling to nudge it out of you. But aside from not wanting you to kick me—accidentally or on purpose—it's better to use that when the one they're lying to is themselves.

[wants_the_phd]

[She's not particularly worried about a zone of truth, anyway. After all, there are plenty of ways to avoid telling the truth without outright lying.]

[She thinks for a moment, debating whether to talk about this or not.]

Hypothetically speaking...

Say there was an act that was a capital offense at home. You could do it here with no consequences, and there'd be a lot of benefits for you if you did. But if you ever went back, there's a non-zero chance you would be executed for it.

What would you do?

[jerkalope]

[ if this were a shoujo anime his eyes would be sparkling right now in glee. ooh morality debates. he gives a hearty laugh. ]

Hypothetically speaking, of course. Ah, there's a lot of examples I'm familiar with where prisoners have faced this very dilemma. Usually, they make a lot of excuses. "I had nowhere else to go" and "they forced me into this situation," or "what I did helped more people than I hurt!" The ones that don't, hmm, they had a problem with the offense in the first place.

You've worked in the clinic so we'll use that as an example. You're in a cult—not the Sheep one, another kind—that refuses all kinds of medical intervention except for prayer. If you violate this rule this is your capitol offense. Most people wouldn't break that rule for anyone except their cherished loved ones, but the ones that think it's wrong...ah, they might break it for a measly stray animal.

Then, hypothetically they are tortured for it. And eventually rise up and murder the one who harmed them. And then, because they need the rules of the world to make sense, they turn around and start threatening to harm others who offer medical intervention, having replaced their abuser.

That's all pretty messy. If it were me, I would have probably just avoided going back to the scene of the crime where non-zero executions are held, but I assume you have some sentimental attachments to return there.

[wants_the_phd]

I guess you could call them sentimental attachments, though it's more like unfinished business. I have something I want to do that can only get done at home, so I do intend to go back someday, if I get the chance.

Let's use your medical intervention analogy. You've been gravely injured. If you get aid, it'll save your life, but also condemn you in the eyes of the law. Since it's the pasture, if you die, maybe someone will revive you. But at home, once you're dead, that's it.

So, is it better to eat shit and die in a way that is maybe temporarily, or to save your life and maybe get killed permanently?

Also, in this scenario I must stress that you absolutely do not want to die either way.

[jerkalope]

In that case it sounds less like a moral choice and one entirely borne of self-preservation.

[ he adjusts his tiny hat ]

If my truest goal was unfinished business I would unironically kill myself to achieve those aims. Heh, after all, if it's that important might as well accept the chances of failure.

[wants_the_phd]

Wait -- Unironically kill yourself by following the law, or by breaking the law?

[jerkalope]

Whatever is more likely to get me to my goals. If it means I have to follow a law that has no hold over this pasture, I would obey it with the expectation it would give me some grace when I go "home."


...unless what you want to do back home is also illegal. In which case why bother with these semantics?

[wants_the_phd]

It's not, so that's not the issue.

I don't even know if anyone at home would know that I'd done anything. Aaargh.

[She scrubs her fingers in her hair in frustration.]

Did you know humans criminalize nudity? I think we've talked about it before. I've met people here who are so twisted up about it that they won't even look at a naked person, even if it's themself, in a mirror, in private.

I'm certain that if they all went nude every day from here until the moment they went back, there's no way anyone could punish them for it. But still they staunchly refuse just the same.

[jerkalope]

They do, but that's not a common capital offense for humans. It's who they decide to get naked with that leads to murder, hehe.

But that doesn't mean they're twisted up about it because of the law. Sin, shame, cultural boundaries, protection from the elements... Even if being nude suddenly meant a certain benefit, say extra rations, many humans would still prefer to wear clothes. I mean, have you seen them? Most of them are practically hairless! For many it's part of who they are.

[jerkalope]

[ does a little hop twirl to show off his tattered Weed cape ]

And you have to admit sometimes it's really stylish.

[wants_the_phd]

Sure. Even I wear clothes most of the time.

I'm just saying that, even if you have pretty good reason to suspect nothing you do here is going to follow you home, it can be a mental hurdle to get yourself in a mindset to do something that you've grown up knowing is a mortal sin. Especially if it's something you've seen people get disemboweled for.

[jerkalope]

And I go back to my previous hypothetical. Is this "mortal sin" you think of really that bad, enough that you would risk breaking it for a stranger? Or is it just some cultural inconvenience you're hung up on? Because it sounds like the latter, and I've got to say, while disemboweling can be a good deterrent, there's a lot of stuff that goes on around here that would make otherwise rational beings hmm...jaded about it.

Like, you saw Thistle right? The mushy pile of their collective organs that last game?

[wants_the_phd]

Wow, no, I didn't. That's an excellent example of something I don't want to happen, here or otherwise.

The thing I'm hypothetically talking about... there isn't any morality attached to it. "Good" or "bad" aren't part of the equation any more than being naked is good or bad. It's just a fact that you'll get executed if you do it... and that has a way of sticking with a person, I think.

[jerkalope]

Then it's whatever keeps you from getting killed. Most kinds of executions have loopholes, work on that while you do whatever it is that keeps your organs on the inside while you're here.

[wants_the_phd]

I think I'm probably gonna have to.


...

[She taps her hin, thinking.]

There's someone here who knows the thing I'm talking about is a crime and is likely to try to leverage that against me at some point. I'm gonna have to find a way to silence him before I go home.

[jerkalope]

Hooh, you really are driven by survival.

Well, it's not me! I assume this is some kind of nonsense as shaming someone for wearing a hat, with all your nudity talk. And unless he's got the means to chase after you, it's moot point.

[wants_the_phd]

[*taps her CHIN]

I'm sure there might be other ways of outing me without following me home.

[She doesn't know what, but that won't stop her from being paranoid about it.]

I'd feel a lot more comfortable if he were dead, but I don't have the strength to pull it off. I'll have to come up with another way. Maybe blackmail...?

[Don't mind her, she's just thinking out loud.]

[jerkalope]

Right, because attempted murder or blackmail never escalate hostilities!

[ he wrinkles his nose in disdain, amateur hour vengeance ]

[wants_the_phd]

Oh please. We've already done worse than that to each other.