RITUAL 20 END

[wooliefrand]

WHO: Sheep
WHERE: The Pasture
WHEN: Day 58 MORNIN!!

[by mid morning the fireworks fade and any remaining sparkles or pink mists fades, along with the compulsory effects of your flower pins. Now they're just normal pins--and you can keep them! If that's your thing.

Doki Doki and Bon Bon cackle in the air.]

WAHAHAHA! MY REVENGE HAS REACHED ITS PEAK! Bet you know better than to mess with us again!!

But I GUESS you've had enough and I'm satisfied. Love love~! Maybe we'll play again later!

[and EXPLOSION and the two disappear in a burst of pink glitter. That may or may not get left in your hair.]

[OOC:
TURN IN | Winners/Results ]

Comments

[survivaltricks]

[hhhhesitation]

. . . I bet you've already been bombarded by questions, haven't you?

[terraria]

Something like that. I imagine you still want to know, however.

The most prevailing question seems to be if Lily and I are okay, which, we are. Bonds can't be broken that easily.

[survivaltricks]

[ah--]

[a lopsided grin]

Mm. That wasn't my first question, actually. I kind of assumed you guys would be okay.

[since, yeah. bonds can't be broken that easily at all!1]

I was wondering how you felt about it.

[terraria]

( seems completely thrown by this question, eyes wide. blinks once. looks up at the sky. looks to the side, really trying to process because he very clearly hasn't even thought of how he felt. )

... I... mm... well... I...

Ugh. ( lamely; ) I'm sorry, I don't know. I don't usually think about it.

[survivaltricks]

Ah. . . I think that's okay.

[rubbing the back of his neck, slightly sheepish]

If it just happened, you probably just need some time to adjust.

. . . you're okay though, right?

[terraria]

I am.

( lupin is one of few people that he'll show he's not 100%. )

I have just... been thinking a lot, due to the ritual that happened before. About "flocks" and... what that means.

[survivaltricks]

[hn. . .?]

Do you want to talk about it?

[terraria]

( he considers this, and then: )

Perhaps another point of view would be helpful.

Would you consider other flocks opponents?

[survivaltricks]

[a small smile, touched that Perci is willing to open up. and his response is immediate]

Of course not.

[terraria]

But they are not allies?

[survivaltricks]

I didn't say that, either.

[dips his fingers into his pockets, expression thoughtful as he gaze flickers up]

I think all of us are in this together. Flocks, weeds. . . even Red, Blossom and Stormy. I've never seen anyone as an adversary. And when shit hits the fan, we all work together as best as we can.

[terraria]

( a silent nod. )

I agree. That's exactly why... I don't think I could ever pick anything besides myself when it comes to choosing who to make hurt.

It's not sustainable. But I would lose a thousand limbs rather than hurt anyone in the pasture.

[survivaltricks]

[. . . so that is why. . .]

. . . that's very brave of you, Perci.

[. . .]

But what if. . . another flock said they were willing to share that burden with you?

[terraria]

( soft, wistful smile. )

That's quite a big ask to ask of several people altogether.

[survivaltricks]

Mmm. Yeah.

And I'm sure not everyone would feel that way.

[and he wouldn't blame them, either]

But. . . at the same time, nobody wants you to suffer alone.

["nobody" really meaning "Lupin himself"]

[terraria]

"Nobody", huh...

( smiles, rueful. )

[survivaltricks]

[. . . mmm. closes his eyes and pulls up a wry smile]

You know. . . I decided from the very first day I was Shepherd to put Thistle first. There are so many reasons I made that decision, and even now. . . I stand by it.

[but Perci knows all of those reasons. he heard each and every one, back when Lupin was falling apart at the seams after the betrayal ritual]

But that doesn't mean I think one person-- one flock-- should carry the burden of punishment all by themselves.

. . . especially when that person or that flock means something to me.

[terraria]

I don't think so, either. I care about so many here, on so many different flocks, and Weeds as well. I don't think anyone should shoulder all that suffering alone.

( closes his eyes. )

But... once bitten, twice shy. I can't honestly say I look at most people here the same, even if the pain was manageable for me. I don't want others to go through a similar paranoia, wondering who was willing to hurt you.

[survivaltricks]

[. . . it's different for him, isn't it? for someone who thinks everyone would be willing to hurt him. . . but Lupin pushes that thought aside, because this is not about him]

[it's about Perci, and his unrelenting kindness]

[Lupin opens his eyes again, turning his attention back to Perci]

In that way, is being a Weed. . . easier?

[terraria]

I think so. Perhaps that's why it doesn't bother me much. Having to be the hand that hurts another goes against everything I've stood for, for so long... I don't know if I could stand it.

( a little shrug, sheepish. )

Besides, I'm not fond of how it might seem as if I'm doing something "because Lily is doing it"? Or "to make Lily look good"? Inter-team politics is a headache.

[survivaltricks]

[IMMEDIATELY, with some amount of annoyance]

Team politics are stupid. Doing something just to make your entire team "look good" is also stupid.

[it probably isn't surprising that Lupin, master of FREEDOM and INDEPENDENCE, feels that way. it is also probably not a surprise considering Lupin didn't care at all about "repairing" Thistle's reputation after the betrayal game]

If being attached to a flock was starting to make you feel like you couldn't be yourself, then. . . maybe now is your chance to figure things out for yourself?

[terraria]

( pfft—amused, ruffles his hair, though he seems to sober up a bit at the question. )

Mm. Yes...

I need to find out who "I" am first, I think. It's easy to say "I'm a courtesan" or "I'm a king". None of those things are who, only what. I feel as if I should know by now.

( scrunches up nose. )

I'm starting to see how people don't quite see me as an adult, now.

[survivaltricks]

[ducks his head with a grin, but he allows for the hair ruffling!]

Is that a good thing, or a bad thing?

[not being seen as an adult, he means]

[terraria]

( he looks... torn, but not particularly sad. )

I don't know. I want to be dependable... to have a place and role only I could fulfill. I haven't really had one before. That seems like an adult aspiration, doesn't it?

[survivaltricks]

. . . I don't know about that.

[a thoughtful pause, and he rakes his fingers through his hair, gaze flickering down then up again]

I mean. . . I don't think of myself as an adult, and I'm not in any rush to become one. But having a place in the world. . . being dependable to the one's I love. . .

[. . .]

That was important to me, too.