sheep_game | lilium candidum

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lilium candidum

WHO: lily + visitors if any??
WHERE: lily
WHEN: day 56

[anyone who tried to visit lily night 54 or through day 55 might have noticed there was not really much response and most of the team seemed to be away from home! whoopsie

on day 56 people start coming back or otherwise rousing from their post-kidnapping/trauma/werewolfing fugue states though. what up]

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You say you don't do it lightly, but Lily does it often enough that people throw a punch at us because they know we'll be hurting anyway.

[holds up a finger]

You're making an assumption that doesn't have any basis. You said that people throw a punch at us because they know we'll be hurting anyway. But have you confirmed that? Did you ask someone who targeted us directly, and that was the response they gave you? Don't create misunderstandings out of nowhere.

[holds up a second finger]

And what I said remains true. We don't do it lightly. Whether or not it happens often is separate from whether we do it lightly. Each ritual is different, so we take the rules and circumstances into consideration and act accordingly. Rather than harming ourselves, we're usually trying to...bend the rules at play. That comes with a risk we have to all accept before we proceed.

We got multiple punishments on the second round, when we voted for ourselves once. How the hell else am I supposed to take that? Intentional or random, someone wrote it down intentionally.

And fine, we don't do it lightly. Still, it's an option that Lily doesn't lightly choose, a lot.

Someone picked us every round. That's indisputable. But you don't know why. The rules as provided to us required everyone to write someone down--their options were as limited as ours. ...Please don't hold it against them too much when they didn't have much of a choice to begin with.

[runs a hand through his hair]

What would you rather do instead, if a similar situation came up again? It's perfectly fine to say you don't want to target Lily. We can do that. But we do also need to know what choice to make instead.

I'm not holding anything against anyone. But do you really think people aren't taking advantage, or even just thinking about taking advantage of Lily's tendencies?

If I knew what the answer was, I'd tell you, but I don't. Guess that's kind of why we're here.

If someone is already hurting themselves, most will simply add to it. It makes tactical sense.

Their options were as limited as ours, but we chose ourselves while they chose to hurt us. It simply sounds like we should do the same to safeguard our own.

I'm not even saying it's personal. Like, it makes sense to focus on a single target if you can.

Mm. Especially to those whose priorities are taking care of their flock first.

And it's not as if we die here permanently. No one wants to die, but... some may consider this a "well, you can't die, so it's not really a problem" sort of argument.

Doesn't make the pain and damage any less real. Though I know I'm not the one who should be saying that.

Er—well, no, but I simply meant that... some people may be desensitized to everyone's pain.

No, I get you. I guess that's the flip side of what I'm saying. That some people think the death doesn't matter, but it's not like being revived takes all of it away.

( thinking about how tightly lupin held onto him after being revived... )

... no. It doesn't.

So I'm not gonna take the life I have for granted. I got a kid to live for, you know? The last thing she needs is Papa Acheron coming home with dark circles and a haunted look on his face. After all, she's already got Papa Bombay for that.

[ he cracks a smile that may not quite reach his eyes but he's trying. ]

( his smile is gentle. )

I understand. I don't want to have a haunted look in my eyes when I have my child, either. I hope I can get rid of this baggage by the time I have them.

I don't think anyone is taking advantage of us.

[it's quiet, but sincere]

I don't really have an answer either. I don't expect us to decide anything today, but I do want to know how everyone feels so we can keep it in mind depending on what situations come up in the future.

Well, maybe you're right, I'd like that. But it hasn't exactly been my experience back home.

[shakes his head]

It's not the same as home here. Maybe that sounds like an excuse. But when enough people take advantage of you in your life, you know what it looks like. And you know why they're doing it. A lot of the reasons people have to use and abuse you in a larger society aren't present here.

It's still not perfect, obviously. There also isn't a huge benefit to taking advantage of others here. It's more beneficial to work together as much as possible.

I get that, but... actually. Maybe this is a talk we could be having with an even bigger audience. Y'know, if everyone does want to work together.

I don't think everyone's gonna be open about it, and I don't think we're all going to be in agreement. But at least if we know where everyone stands it might be a better way to, um. Inform our decisions.

Edited (minor edit, sorry!) 2024-01-31 09:43 (UTC)

[raises an eyebrow]

You mean talking to the whole pasture about it?

Yeah, exactly. Might be worth a try.

I'm not opposed to it, but I'm not sure what you think we'd get out of a discussion like that, if I'm being honest. We do all work together when we can. Every ritual is different so there's not a lot of room to pre-plan.

Mostly so we know where people's lines are. I mean, it's the same thing we're doing here, just bigger. But if you think it'd be a waste of time, then I get it.

I wouldn't call it a waste, just...we pretty much already know where most people stand. And some people would probably give you shit for it rather than giving you a straight answer. In a larger public forum, people might also lie. If it's something that you really want to pursue then I would recommend asking people individually rather than in a big meeting.

Well, things change. I don't expect everyone to be truthful with me even if I approach them about it, but I'll keep this in mind if I decide to go poking.

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lilium candidum

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