Winding down

[wants_the_phd]

WHO: Roses and ?
WHERE: Rose barn
WHEN: Post-ritual evening 54 through morning 55

[Whew.





Whew.]

Comments

[poisonista]

[ He feels the coolness getting offset, confusion on his face for a bit, before he flusters a little. ]

Honestly... We're going inside anyway.

[ Whenever he's done with squeezing Epel, they can move in- and he's taking Rook's hand in his when they do. ]

Was everything alright with your Flock?

[chasseurdebeaute]

Everyone is stable enough for the night. I will want to check in on them again in the morning, but there is time enough until then.

[poisonista]

That's good.

[ Once they're in... ]


... I want you beside me tonight.

[chasseurdebeaute]

Fufu, I have done all that I can to ensure that I would be no where else tonight, fair Belle. Did you just want to say it aloud?

[poisonista]

It makes it feel a little more real. It's not like I could have you with me otherwise.


[ These days for all that happened certainly didn't allow for them to be as close as they would be at school. ]

[chasseurdebeaute]

...And why not?

[poisonista]

Didn't you have duties as a Shepherd while yours was missing all this time?

[chasseurdebeaute]

I admit it... stings me... the implication that if it all that has happened had not been too terrible to bear that you would not ask for me at all...

[poisonista]

[ That makes him huff, despite himself, his words firm. ]


Rubato. You had duties as a temporary shepherd of your flock, didn't you? The only reason I didn't call on you as I had been before was so that you could focus on those duties and not have to worry about me while I continued to acclimate myself. Weren't you the one saying I should try new experiences?

[ That comes out more like how Vil is normally, rather than the scared and traumatized Belle Melusine from some hours ago. Vil does value responsibility, after all! And his earlier bothering and asking Rubato to explain things for him and showing him around could be handled if he had other responsibilities. ]

Who else would I rely on more than you, here? Just because I gave you space to handle your responsibilities doesn't mean you're free of that, you know!

[chasseurdebeaute]

I would wish that we could have new experiences together...

[poisonista]

[ Oh.

He exhales. ]


... I want to have them with you too. I didn't want to have to figure this place out without your help.

It just felt like you'd so many other people to look after while I hadn't been here and that I'd be more to deal with than anyone needed.

[ Once again, his pride and insecurity is getting in the way, but he was trying to be considerate since, they usually do their own thing, right. ]

[chasseurdebeaute]

... Then the answer to who you would rely on more than me is yourself, non...? It isn't necessarily a bad thing, but I... [his hand curls slightly...]

...One of my greatest joys is to watch others learn--why would it be a burden on me to have the chance to witness another evolution develop within you?

[poisonista]

[ He sighs. ]


... why would it indeed.

[ He stops moving, going quiet for a bit. ]

I've been terribly unfair to you, haven't I, Rubato?

[chasseurdebeaute]

Oui.

Though I hesitate to agree fully when I don't know if you are being unfair to yourself as well...

[poisonista]

I should have been handling things better here, and yet all I've managed is a complete lack of understanding and inability to communicate anything I've found myself incapable of comprehending.

... You've only been trying to help in every way you can, and I've ended up hurting you because of the dread I feel of not being heard, and of my own expectations of myself- you, the only person who has bothered to ask after me. I don't deserve your forgiveness for my behavior, but I'll ask for it all the same.

It doesn't have to be now, but I hope you'll want to sometime.

[chasseurdebeaute]

... My injury, Belle, is that I fear you don't know... or perhaps have never accepted the person that I see when I look at you. Even here, you would apologize to me by devaluing yourself, emphasizing your lack to me when I love you, Roi du Poison--every part of you that you have cared to show me and every part that I have seen for myself.

But you... have treated yourself cruelly, under a guise of self-improvement. And it feels as if, unknowing, my hand has also been wrapped around the knife, to my deepest reluctance and regret.

... Is that what you are apologizing for?

[poisonista]

[ He feels- so pathetic about this, but he nods, mutely. His hands feel out to find Rubato's and take one between his own.

He doesn't want to feel like this, and perhaps had they had this conversation sooner and without the weight of what they all just went through, he'd say it better but right now he doesn't have the energy left to fight it anymore. ]

... it wasn't right of me to hand you that knife, Rubato. These hands only deserve to hold the most beautiful things.

And I want that beauty you hold to be me. Before anyone else.

[ Is that clear enough? Vil doesn't like feeling like he's no longer necessary, even if he doesn't care or mind that Rubato likes others. And it was so easy to feel that way, having arrived here long after everyone else had been here for a while. ]

[chasseurdebeaute]

[Slots his fingers with Belle's, his free hand coming up so he can brush his fingertips over the other's cheek lightly.]

Who did I swear to follow on the day that I was accepted to Pomefiore?

[poisonista]

[ You know he just accepted it as one of your eccentricities, don't you, Rook. But he leans in against his hand, bringing his free one to cover the back of it. ]


... Even here? Even while I wasn't here, and you found more to love? ...don't take that as a bad thing. I'm glad for it. I wouldn't ever want you to hold back your desires and I know you wouldn't anyway.

But allow me to falter, Rubato. You mean that much, after all.

[chasseurdebeaute]

Even here, Roi du Poison--did I not say so? It is one thing to falter, but if my words, my feelings, if nothing of me can even reach you then.. aren't I meaningless? If you chase after someone who would put you away because of a little time apart, then who am I, who has been waiting here for you to see me?

1/2

[poisonista]

Don't you dare.

[ Gripping his hand firmly and moving the hand to where he can feel Rook's face, holding his face in return now. ]

Don't you dare call yourself meaningless to me. It's because you mean so much that I don't want to be any less to you.

[poisonista]

And if you can't see that, then maybe I haven't been clear enough.

[ He can't see him, but he does gauge the distance between their faces to bring his closer, until his nose is brushing against his-


He releases the hand Rubato is holding to hold Rubato's face- and keep him where he is, simply using the memory of his friend's features to finally move in and catch his mouth with his own.

Normally, he'd ask, but this time he doesn't think words are going to suffice. He can get upset or angry at him after.

This is what he means. ]

[chasseurdebeaute]

[Mon cher, mon étoile, trésor de mon cœur, that is one of the most foolish things he's ever heard from him. Because he didn't want to be any less to him, he decided that he definitely must be less already and held himself back, despite Rubato telling him otherwise? He is upset, to be frank, and kisses like he is, curling a fist in Belle's collar and baring his teeth as he presses into it.]

[poisonista]

[ That's how normal people who are feeling raw, confused and lost will react! It's normal!!

But he doesn't let the kiss go on too long, pulling back a few seconds after he feels the tension, though not too far, just enough to brush their noses together. ]

... [ Trying to catch his breath- ] I'm not going to apologize for doing that.

[chasseurdebeaute]

[Isn't letting him go far anyway.]

Apologize to me for insulting the Roi du Poison whom I love so dearly and for separating him from me.